NoodleMagazine

Everybody loves Google, and I’m absolutely right about that. Tell me another search engine that’s better than Google. Is there even anything to consider? But you know, at the end of the day, nothing is perfect. Google does serve everything except great porn. And what do we love to search for? Exactly — great porn. Porn sites provide their search engine, but even that couldn’t give you what you’ve been looking for. Or, if they were actually able to provide you with the porn you’ve been craving, there’s not enough to go around. What a fucking bummer, huh? Well, here’s something to turn your world upside down. 

Noodle Magazine is everything you’ve ever wanted out of a porn site. Although, from the get-go, Noodle Magazine looks nothing like a porn site. What the hell am I supposed to do with a blank home page? It’s nothing but a search bar waiting to be typed on. And that’s exactly what you’ve been waiting for all along. That boring old search bar in the middle of nowhere provides everyone’s carnal cravings and more. This is the most unique porn site I’ve ever seen to date, and yet, Noodle Magazine proves to be the most useful out of all the porn sites you and I have been to. No noodles were hurt by the creation of this, by the way. 

Scorching hot or annoyingly cold, Noodle Magazine has it all! 

How do you like your noodles? Do you like it with ice-cold broth, just like how some of our Asian friends do it? Or do you like it scorching hot? Well, however, you like it, Noodle Magazine has it all. Dive into the selection you’ve fantasized about, or dip your toes into unknown territory — it’s all up to you. I know it’s confusing, but sorry to disappoint; there are no noodles in Noodle Magazine. LOL. What you have in here, though, is a huge fucking collection of fucking. And believe it or not, everyone will love the kinds of noodles they serve. 

What video quality do you like best, anyway? That should have been my question from the beginning. Maybe the gadget you’re using doesn’t yet support 4K or 6K Ultra HD. Maybe it doesn’t support high-definition porno performances at all. Or maybe it does. You know what’s best for whatever you’re reading this review from right now. Unsurprisingly, Noodle Magazine has it all. From SD to full HD and everything in between; 380p, 480p, 720p, 1080p, HD, Full HD, and ultra HD. From your iMacs and iPads to your Windows and basic keypad phones, as long as it has WiFi, you can go to town with them on Noodle Magazine.

Does anyone count how many noodles they have? 

How many Triple X movies can you stroke your cock to in a day? Me, well, sometimes I can get content with one amazingly mind-blowing porno film. Sometimes, my throbbing cock works overtime, at least 10 XXX movies a day, and the nighttime isn’t included yet. Well, whatever your numbers are, be glad that Noodle Magazine can and will cater for your fapping sessions nonstop. Wait, what does nonstop mean in that sense? Well, motherfucker, it means that Noodle Magazine contains an insane amount of XXX films; nobody knows how many there are anymore. Should I say it’s unlimited? Yep, I should. 

Noodle Magazine is a bottomless pit of porno performances. Each explicit film can last from a few minutes to a full hour and more. This varied collection of triple X films blows everyone’s minds away, and there’s no need to check on other porn sites anymore. Unless those other porn sites you’re thinking about right now can offer something better. Even I doubt that at this point. LOL. Here’s a question from another point of view: Do you count your noodles before eating them? Does anyone even do that? If your answer is no, then that’s precisely my point. 

Noodle Magazine has all the flavors you’re looking for. ? 

My favorite noodle flavor has got to be beef broth. It’s nice when you eat it cold, and even better when you eat it fucking hot that it burns your tongue. What’s yours? I’m pretty sure the answer varies because there are a fuck ton of noodle flavors all over the world. Similarly, there are also a fuck ton of categories all housed in Noodle Magazine. And again, Noodle Magazine does not have any noodles. Well, except if the noodle in question is a cock, then there’s a shit ton of that here. Let’s rephrase that question: What category makes your ding-a-ling throb the most? 

If you’ve already visited Noodle Magazine while reading this, chances are you’ve already seen how blank the porn site is. It’s a search engine porn site; that’s what it is. And what do search engines do? Everybody searches for anything on Google, and Google always gives a satisfactory answer. The same applies to Noodle Magazine. Whether you’re into voyeurism, BDSM, GILFs, cuckolding, Asian, threesomes, interracial sex, intimate lovemaking, sex series, gang bangs, and more — just search for it, and Noodle Magazine will serve one hell of a collection under that category. And I’m not talking about ten or so XXX videos. I’m talking about hundreds, if not thousands, of explicit films, and they are all eager to fulfill your fantasies. 

Interesting is an understatement. 

By now, you have already found out that Noodle Magazine is a search engine porn site that acts like a magic genie. It’s a porn site with an interesting user interface that will leave you looking stupid the first time you use it. That’s why saying that Noodle Magazine is interesting is an understatement. Noodle Magazine is a search engine from the get-go, which means it has all the features that a regular search engine has, much like Google. Just think of anything you want to wank to, type it onto the search bar, and go to town once the results are out. 

Navigating Noodle Magazine has got to be the easiest thing on earth. After looking for a porno category, Noodle Magazine will serve you a collection of XXX movies under the category you’ve craved for today. All you have to do is choose, click, and fap. That’s all. There’s nothing more for you to click on because Noodle Magazine has no other features. Heck, there aren’t even any ads, even if you turn your ad blocker off. Noodle Magazine is nothing but a porn site. It’s not there for you to interact, download, or whatever. It’s just there for you to watch porn on, as simple as that. 

Well, noodles are pretty well-known for being cheap. 

How much do you think it will cost you if you’re given a bottomless selection containing all the porn categories in the world? Hmm, that’s a good question. Noodle Magazine seemed too promising until now, didn’t it? By the looks of it, if you’re getting everything from SD to Ultra HD, no ads, and a continuously increasing porn library, that sounds like it will surely break the bank. Or does it? Will it? 

Nah, now that I see those sweat droplets forming on your forehead, let me just tell you that Noodle Magazine doesn’t cost a single penny. All the porno performances are available for free. You just have to make sure you have an internet connection, and you can paint the town red. Although noodles are known to be pretty cheap, this one won’t cost you a thing. Put that wallet back now because you won’t need that here anytime soon. 

Slurp all the porn you can handle! 

Back then, noodles were the only thing that kept me going when I had nothing in my wallet. Who knew that now, noodles would be the ones to keep me going again? Although we’re talking about entirely different noodle categories, I know you’ll like this one more than the former. LOL. 

Noodle Magazine offers unlimited porn that doesn’t cost a single penny. You can jump from one category to the next, wank your cock to all of your heart’s desires, and return to do the same thing again the next day. It’s like a porn buffet that doesn’t even go near breaking the bank. Now you can slurp all of the porn that you can handle. Indulge in your porno gluttony! There’s nothing that’s going to stop you now. *wink*